My journey as a long distance runner who started the sport later in life.
I have been somewhat silent here lately simply because there hasn’t been a whole lot to say in the way of progress regarding my fingers. The hand most certainly looks a lot better: the bruising is completely gone; the swelling is much reduced; Frankenfinger had its metal rods taken out; and, the incision scars aren’t as garish. What hasn’t improved much is the range of motion nor the pain.
I have been to 30 physiotherapy sessions, constituting many, many hours of my time, but even Vero says that the progress is slow to none. I can’t help but feel as though I am wasting my time in a fruitless effort to get the hand back to some semblance of normalcy that is just not possible. Could it be that this stiff piece of meat attached to my right arm is the new normal? I am not convinced anyone actually knows, but I do have an appointment with the surgeon this coming Tuesday.
I am the happiest when I am conducting my regular activities in whatever capacity I am currently capable; living my life, so to speak. I am most miserable when I am on my way to physiotherapy; resentful of the time it takes, resentful of the pain it causes, resentful that it doesn’t seem to ever make a difference. It really does feel like beating my head against a wall. What a fantastic relief it is to have to miss a PT session, for example due to a piñata. Oh sure, there is the momentary pang of guilt because I am a rule follower, but then there is the sweet bliss of feeling like getting back to normal, the new normal.
I will be interested to see what the surgeon will say, because I know he won’t be happy with the progress I’ve made, since it’s almost none. I am not sure if there is any recourse because he always tells me to move it more, but it is so stiff and painful we just can’t. I doubt it is even possible to get a local anesthetic in my hand for every PT session, nor would it be very healthy to be that medicated all the time. The only time those first joints in the middle and ring fingers moved is when he had me under for the wire removal operation. I have the pictures to prove it, but it’s cold comfort and a lot different than the reality on the ground in a PT session.